Yu-Gi-Oh Monster Nervous Eyes Card Text Violation Art

Philadelphia – Sources say fear and uncertainty gripped the Yu-Gi-Oh community earlier today as several monster cards looked down for the first time since printing to see a wall of card text dangerously eating away at their artwork.

“Mighty Master of Magic my ass, I'm here fighting for my life,” says Endymion, the main boss monster in the Pendulum deck and the main cause of America's squint. “I am not stupid, I know what people say about me. Endymion lost second place. Endymion lost to a natural beast. Endymion did not know how to put on his armor and did not dare to ask. I have one thing that works for me and that's a card effect instruction manual I'm packing my bags with sincerity and honesty. literature Right here.

“At first I was proud of it,” Endymion continued, “but today, for the first time, I looked down and looked—Egyptian gods!—where are my legs? Where are my fucking legs?

Other monsters have expressed concern that while their ancient souls remain bound in expensive cardboard, their existence is subject to the whims of the game's publisher, Konami.

“I know that in games where the only keyword is 'penetrating combat damage' and minor grammatical differences become meta-definition, long and fringe medical effect text is necessary, but this shouldn't come at the expense of good art. The price,” Gunkan said of Suship Shari, a level 4 vanilla beat stick with no effects and 116 words of flavor text. “Every day I wonder if this could happen to me. I know in my rational mind card text doesn't spontaneously appear and crop your art, but it's a scary thought. Like, errata Tables do happen, you know.

“But I'm really lucky,” Suhip continued. “I'm a regular monster in 2021. I don't have to worry about the pendulum effect or connecting arrows or being retroactively added to the world's worst archetype. The worst thing for me is that Konami invented new ones for Ant font size. In many ways, I'm safe; I'm done with my creative pain. You've seen D/D/D. Ragnarok? He didn't always smile like that.

After a typically polite and moderate response from the Yu-Gi-Oh community, and a call from a local player to see PenduLuMoon's exposed feet, Konami issued a statement hoping to quell players' concerns about the integrity of Yu-Gi-Oh .

“We heard player feedback about cropped artwork and the eternal physical and mental torture that is the fate of every monster sealed in our trading cards,” Konami said. “Rest assured, we will definitely correct one of these things.”

“Yu-Gi-Oh!'s global success would not be possible without Kazuki Takahashi's iconic designs,” the statement continued, “not to mention countless other pieces of card art that later appeared out of thin air and therefore could not be recognized. Unlike other TCGs, Yu-Gi-Oh's artwork is never one thing. Our cards span a myriad of styles, genres, and frankly confusing creative choices—from sexy jars to dripping starfish, to Bruce Lee's rat and prison tomato “Inmato.” While clear and non-conflicting card text is vital to the health of the game, we know it's even more important to allow these creations of sick minds to shine in their full glory. If you're here for regular dark fantasy, tip your balance back to Magic: The Gathering .

As of press time, Konami has denied speculation that Yu-Gi-Oh! may implement keywords in the future, saying that the game will no longer feature combat-oriented effects and stating that this will not be possible until Yu-Gi-Oh cards can be implemented. It was “a cold day in hell.”

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